Time for another scribble-dee-doo-dah session in front of the TV on another frosty Friday morn' (with pancakes!!!).
Clockwise, from left: Brick Tamland cheats on lamp; Governor Kemp knowing what's best for his state; random space cadets and 1-spatula general; aaand, as always, one clueless Trump.
The below was purely an exercise of “well, I have nothing to do, and the cable news is bumming me out… maybe I’ll pick up a pen & legal pad and see what happens…”
Clockwise, from left: cowboy; some glamorous babe; I don’t know what this is all about; that asshole Trump; this maybe a badly drawn Roger Stone-esque character flanked by mindless cronies/supporters (as he was on the TV at the time when scribbling away).
When a Scribble-Dee-Doo-Dah event starts, just like in the example above, I have no agenda in mind when the pen begins to make random lines on the page - those lines sometimes will cross the path of other lines, and so on and on… until I eventually see crude forms, then build up from there. I had no idea I’d summon a cowboy from a rudimentary cube; how was I supposed to know a girl would appear from two curvy pen strokes (both accidental)?; as for the, err, grandma(?) and the one-eyed teddy bear on a leash… THAT JUST HAPPENED! No idea where my head was at for that one.
As posted in my Facebook:
I think this scribble-dee-doo-dah is telling me something... that I am way bored at work right now.
If anybody can tell me what was on my mind when I drew a misshapen mustachioed fez-wearing marshall sucking on an empty striped straw (#drool) and a finger that’d just poked him in the back of the head... I'll owe you a gorilla #thegoonshow
A quick sketch/painting for a friend in NJ, whose hobbies include nature photography, bird watching, et al…
It’s Monday morning.
You arrive at work.
You have in your head a game plan to tackle ongoing job briefs, allocating time and resources to get 'em done.
You're all fired up & ready to go.
Now, go ahead and open your emails.
At the top of the messages list: "Please, Bort, could you do this thing you've already done, but now has to be done again because of some insignificant thing nobody cares about needs to be fixed? Thanks."
Well, that just ruined my morning mojo.
So my response was a parody of annoyance and pain, yet I had to create a portrait of faux exuberance...
A simple Post-It Note scribble-dee-doo-dah sent to a work colleague who’d alerted me she’d been tasked in transmitting vital production art out to the factory offshore.
I could’ve replied with a traditional “Yep, sounds fine. Do that!”. But I took 4 minutes out of my “busy” schedule to quickly do this self-caricature and emailed that instead.
I’m quite certain THIS doodle ain’t worthy enough for a blog post - when I draw things and send ‘em out, my normal procedure is to trash the originals (and whatever JPEGS derived from the originals) without even blinking… however, I promised myself this year - either because of vanity or procrastination - to document EVERY doodle I do, no matter how meaningless and/or stupid they are.
Nothing of any meaning here… just me doodling on my legal pad while waiting for a huge file to finish auto-saving throughout the day yesterday.
Actual “artists” - those to whom get paid drawing for a living - would label something like the below “Warm Up Sketches”… just some crap they do at the beginning of the day before any actual creative stuff happens.
For me, when these scribble-dee-doo-dahs were barfed up, it was mid-afternoon (I was all coffeed out, exhausted, dying to get home and dive into a warm bath) and, every time Illustrator auto-saved an open file that’d take 5 minutes to complete, I’d lean over to my legal pad on my left and:
clumsily draw a bloated shape with a colored highlighter;
if it started to look like a “something”, I’d lightly draw in some structural lines with a red pen;
continue this until whatever-it-was looked MORE like a “something”;
grab a blue or black pen to define the shape and shading of the “something”;
add a background color with a highlighter so the “something” can pop off the page;
add more tones to the “something” with a highlighter.
First, HBO announced “Gone With The Wind” would be shelved in response to current “public outrage” over confederacy and slavery aspects of the film. And as race relations upheaval and debate transpire all over the US, it won’t be long before other films and syndicated TV titles get mothballed as a result.
Well, looks like them Duke boys have found a way ‘round broadcast censorship vis-á-vis the confederate flag atop of the Charger.
Flagrantly False Fun fact: The folks of Hazzard County were ignorantly unaware Uncle Jesse was a pioneer in genetic engineering; yet, mentioned in hushed tones around town were rumors of his early experimentations with inbreeding, but let’s table that abhorrent chatter for another time (or never).
And, for those degenerate “fancies cartoon cloned women” freaks out there, I present to you the Daisies:
A timely toon based on current anarchic events... regrettably, the cast and cartoonist were wearing face masks, thus the text came out muffled. My bad.
Whatever it was, I'm sure it was both funny and thought-provoking.
Tried fixing both word balloon script and gag line in post, but to no avail.
Drawn at a time when there was a torrential downpour of Hodor memes (c.2014), I think I remember a “Happy Heart Tree Day” facebook post. That got me to doodling this piece:
The pair of clogs hung from the weirwood tree’s branch is another annoying in-joke (a’la facebook friends).
Or, if you’re a Game Of Thrones nutball and wanna try ‘n’ read some fandom theory as to why there’re clogs on one side and a paraplegic Bran Stark (with Hodor) is on the other… paralysis …. footwear… there’s some vicious ominous taunting analogy there…
What can I say? I LUV banana bread! Can’t get enough of it!
And after a period of time NOT having banana bread, then coming back for a slice (or five)… I… I can’t properly describe the emotional significance of biting into the moist, cake-like texture of what is, essentially, mashed banana! Thankfully, this illo (c.2014) is a testament to said unsaid description:
When enjoying banana bread, experts recommend wearing knee-high Lederhosen at all times.
Hi.
Ahh, it’s that time of year I draw up a special German-themed birthday doodle for my favorite mom (of my fan/friend in New Jersey)(#adoptedmominnutley), continuing on with the in-joke previously mentioned here.
This time, the painfully German traditionalistic eccentricities of this one are coupled with the whole Covid-19 brouhaha we’re all in together at this time.
I ran out of those nifty slip-on PPE things you put on my feet… so I had to make do with discarded Wonder Bread bags.
Yeah… well… I had to doodle something… sooooo… enjoy:
Here’s some stuff I did several years ago for a E-Learning app thingy, aimed at young wippersnappers and scholastic dingdongs.
Focus.
Inspire.
Teach.
Connect.
Encourage.
Podium (female option).
Podium (male version).
The below B/W illos were a later extension of the same job. The crucial difference between the above and the below were:
I got paid for the colored illos;
I didn’t get paid for the B/W illos (i.e. I invoiced, but never received a check).
Here are selected preliminary roughs/sketches. These drafts are what clients usually sees to better understand the illustrator’s interpretation of their assigned brief (which, in most cases, is as rough as the illo roughs!). It’s raw! THAT’S what I like about ‘em.
I was notified by email from work that I have been with the company for FIVE years!
And so, I replied in kind with this:
Prior to quickly doodling/coloring and sending this illo off, the original pencil rough had me walking in a solo parade on a bleak-looking day (re:puddles) with one paid spectator asleep in the empty bleachers. But I had other things to do, so it’s just me and the puddles.
The work email further mentioned I’d be getting a $150 voucher from a retailer of my choosing. And a certificate! Whoa! I’m sooooo excited (#sarcasm).
I again replied, asking if they’d instead donate the $150 to the local animal shelter (RSPCA).
I added they may donate the certificate as well… I’m sure it’d be put to good use at the bottom of an injured parrot’s birdcage… I quickly drew that up too.
Below are a few illos drawn up years ago for Australia’s RSPCA’s style guide.
I don’t think these, or any of the other RSPCA illos not seen here, ever saw the retail light of day … #storyofmylife .
Back at work for only a week (#covid19)(#lockdown)(#socialdistancing), I had to take some annual leave in order to be paid 100% of my regular salary (it’s a complicated accounting thingy). And it’s compulsory to let the company know when you go on annual leave/vacation/et al, generally by email.
So I emailed this as I walked out last night.
Poor ol’ Licensing Lady broke a toe or two at home.
In recovery, she requested a illo of a big toe.
So, with notepad at hand, I gave her a big toe on a (thumb) pike.
Sure, everybody loves to post “May The Fourth Be With You” via the tweety (on May The 4th) to acknowledge STAR WARS Day - if there’s such a thing - but what about the day after?
