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Wake Up That Force, For Pete's Sake! | "The Force Awakens" Pre-Release Gags

Back in 2012, upon hearing Mr. Lucas sold his company off to Disney Inc. - and the later news J.J. Abrams spearheading a continuation of the Star Wars saga - my initial thoughts were:

  • Why? Surely Mr. Lucas doesn’t need MORE money, no?

  • Will Disney Inc. leave Mr. Lucas’ “Star Wars” legacy untouched?

  • Abrams is a capable storyteller. I mean, look at the unbelievably great treatment he did reimagining the “Star Trek” universe! How could anyone of that stature - and a true “Star Wars” fan, mind you - ever, EVER go wrong?

Well, in this humble doodling hack’s opinion, HE DID! So horribly, awfully WROOOOOONG!!!

However, in the innocent speculative year prior to “The Force Awakens”’ release, I was damn excited.

Abrams’ 2009 “Star Trek” and the one after that were awesome!

His produced ABC’s “Lost” series was frickin’ brilliant! And, yes, that even applies to the final episode (a lot of people sincerely disagree with me, but they’re stupid poo-poo heads).

Aaaaanyway, I’m going way off the grid with this post…. let me steer back into the lane….

…. so, when it was announced the next “Star Wars” film’s title would be “The Force Awakens”, my Starlogesque-cartoonist brain started churning (for the first time since 2009) and ***BOOM!*** I sketched-up and facebook-posted this lovely piece of Starloggy gaggery:

Signed as “Big Bad Bubba Junior” - an amended callout to my 1st actual Starlog Magazine pseudonym (“Big Bad Bubba”).

Months later, there were rumors of the film’s production being delayed that could’ve pushed out the release date (it wasn’t true because… the internet!)… so I gave birth to another squishy gag:

Sidenote: 2015 came. The movie had just come out. I got my “The Force Awakens” tickets a week after general release (the waiting list was long, I remember). I got a primo seat. The theater darkened. I read the “Star Wars” intro crawl and …

… and…

…. well, I won’t lie to you…. HATED IT! The plotline was nothing grand, the characters’ motivation were idiotic & annoying, the pacing was irritatingly simple-minded… sooooo, I walked out ¾ the way through. My only regret was:

I wish I’d walked out way sooner!!!